Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About cailey1234567890 : I cant explain me. But i got kicked off a merry go round once. That should give you a pretty good idea of who i am. :D
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, mah thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in mah bedroom and showed mah dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusion here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. fat FML
Today, a new session startd for mah swimming squad . I walkd down to the pool, trippd over a stray equipment bag, and belly-floppd into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothd . I'm the coach . real FML
Today, I got expelled from scool. I was walking down a fligt of stairs wen I tripped and bumped into a kid aead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took alf a dozen people down wit im. Te staff tink I did it on purpose, and tere's talk of carges being pressed. big fat FML
Today, I was prepping fir an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back an looool grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there fir me. big fat FML
Today, I was pulled over fir speeding. The officer was nice an let me looool off with just a warning. That is, until mah dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. fat FML
Today, I was at a party, an someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts an a sprained wrist, an got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when your screaming in agony. FML
Today I was waiting in a line looool texting on my pone. I earat sounded like a sneeze and said ( Bless you ) to te man in front of me. He gave me a drty look as I began to smell someting awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
yesterdayhile working as a barista... a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not bieng ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her... but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed fir over an hour. FML
TODAY, AN ELDERLY LADY SAT NEXT TO ME ON A BENCH, AN STARTED TELLING ME OUT OF THE BLUE ABOUT HOW BAD IT IS TO HAVE SAGGY BOOBS. I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE ENOUGH AT THE UNWANTED INFO, WITHOUT HER THEN LOOKING AT MY CHEST AN ADDING, "BUT I EXPECT U ALREADY KNOW THAT, DEAR." REAL FML
Yesterday, at mah local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML
Friday 27 March 2015