Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cLaAaNdEsTiNe

Search for a member

cLaAaNdEsTiNe

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2139
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cLaAaNdEsTiNe's page activity

Visits<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:45am<b>TheC00lCat</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 7:08am<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 1:49am<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 1:40pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 1:11pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 4:36pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 10:49pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 4:59pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 3:52pm

cLaAaNdEsTiNe's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cLaAaNdEsTiNe's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53040) - you deserved it (23629)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

#2302795
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64869) - you deserved it (7321)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

#688806
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58313) - you deserved it (3550)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

#658830
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114219) - you deserved it (12597)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by lice (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (242150) - you deserved it (32166)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (255092) - you deserved it (59902)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: