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bwinski

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bwinski
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3989
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bwinski's favorite FMLs

Today, I was studying for a test at a coffee shop. A guy walked up, slapped the coffee out of my hand, and punched me in the face for hooking up with his girlfriend on the weekend. Not only was I out of town this weekend, but my $250 textbook is ruined, and I failed the test. FML

#5413663
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42908) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by in.need.of.job (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21305) - you deserved it (75867)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21305) - you deserved it (75867)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43159) - you deserved it (14283)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13477) - you deserved it (39592)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked. Then said "You know he can't swim right?" FML

#5044657
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6800) - you deserved it (57230)

On 09/04/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by babydoll13211 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

#4978107
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37357) - you deserved it (6596)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my only sister's wedding. She gave a speech about the person who means the most to her. She said, "She is my favorite sister who has always been there for me." Being her only sister, I got up to hug her. Turns out she was talking about her slutty sorority sister. Not me. FML

#4952830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44504) - you deserved it (2545)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by ohsugarxo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

#4736198
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47912) - you deserved it (5811)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year old daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "the talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

#4691287
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (5666)

On 08/20/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by airplanes-suck (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

#4443952
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6590) - you deserved it (92717)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by A.L.Woody - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML

#4346574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70073) - you deserved it (6377)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:03pm - love - by Jeremy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

#4272437
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13056) - you deserved it (46502)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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