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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38616) - you deserved it (4999)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm - kids - by Divorcemenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7608) - you deserved it (55941)
On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33845) - you deserved it (6112)
On 07/10/2009 at 9:09pm - money - by thanksalot (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I wrote a long wall post on my teachers wall on facebook including how much of a douche I thought she was, I wasn't planning on posting it but did on accident, so I quickly deleted it. I felt pretty clever. Did you know facebook sends you emails including what was written on the post? FML
I agree, your life sucks (6098) - you deserved it (62862)
On 07/01/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by Sallyfromtheseashore (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40925) - you deserved it (10051)
On 06/24/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by feelinnauseous (woman) - United States
Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11112) - you deserved it (68433)
On 06/15/2009 at 1:42am - love - by gabe8 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38772) - you deserved it (570484)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8461) - you deserved it (41324)
On 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm - work - by Chipper (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64842) - you deserved it (5045)
On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47576) - you deserved it (4997)
On 06/07/2009 at 5:23am - misc - by apparentlyunattractive (woman) - United States
Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (4612)
On 06/02/2009 at 1:41am - love - by toobad (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46506) - you deserved it (1875)
On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (109220)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (109220)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8157) - you deserved it (56283)
On 05/21/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by boyo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 20 May 2013
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