This member hasn't filled in the description.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9608) - you deserved it (38831)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22312) - you deserved it (5746)
On 10/22/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by freshman15 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18835) - you deserved it (2490)
On 10/21/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Busted (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (36330)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11079) - you deserved it (27218)
On 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by Lovenotes (woman) - United States
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (3409)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124052) - you deserved it (4826)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33676) - you deserved it (2732)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42415) - you deserved it (2924)
On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53928) - you deserved it (2058)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was studying for a test at a coffee shop. A guy walked up, slapped the coffee out of my hand, and punched me in the face for hooking up with his girlfriend on the weekend. Not only was I out of town this weekend, but my $250 textbook is ruined, and I failed the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37965) - you deserved it (2419)
On 09/22/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by in.need.of.job (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (61042)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (61042)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38846) - you deserved it (11458)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11422) - you deserved it (31143)
On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
