bwinski

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Offline (the 04/19/2016 at 7:52am)

bwinski

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 February 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10911
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bwinski's page activity

Visits<b>ThisIsCarlJr</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 7:28am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:26pm<b>samsamtr</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:41pm<b>HullScott</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:16pm<b>realmikeyjay</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:42pm<b>doublefury22</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:22pm<b>AnalBunny</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:36am<b>Evil_Jester</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 9:01am<b>xChaos</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 10:31pm<b>bruhwhy</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:31pm<b>manthymonkey</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 12:45am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:55am<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 3:43pm<b>kt26527</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:31pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:52pm<b>KingBobtheThird</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:47pm<b>kaitlynjane</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:31pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:14am

Fucked!<b>ThisIsCarlJr</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:28pm<b>xChaos</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 4:31am

bwinski's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of bwinski's badges

bwinski's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a work meeting, my boss leaned over to me and whispered, "I suggest we fuck". FML

by M / 09/20/2015 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2015 at 11:23am / Work

Today, I woke up to a cat licking my face. I don't have a cat. I quickly put the cat out the front door and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I remembered that I had agreed to take care of my sister's cat for a week. I looked out the door, but the cat is nowhere to be found. FML

by introublenow / 09/18/2015 at 8:22am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

by Urinator / 09/16/2015 at 2:26pm / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Animals

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML

by earlytermination / 09/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the orthodontist, and found out when I was supposed to get my braces off. His exact words, "You'll get them off around Christmas... but we're not sure what year." FML

by KenzoBVB / 09/01/2015 at 11:55pm / Canada / Health

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2015 at 11:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

by fuck no / 08/22/2015 at 6:18am / India (Kerala) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

by fuck you btichass cuntshit / 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 11:00am / South Africa / Kids

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML

by I hate games / 08/18/2015 at 4:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

by OhWhoCares / 08/17/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

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