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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24882) - you deserved it (2041)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27185) - you deserved it (3270)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36039) - you deserved it (1543)
On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27352) - you deserved it (5698)
On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5907) - you deserved it (35036)
On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)
Today, my leadership class was trying to decide who would run the kissing booth in our local carnival. Someone suggested me, to which the director replied, "We'd never make any profit with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26087) - you deserved it (2265)
On 02/17/2013 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28254) - you deserved it (3115)
On 02/17/2013 at 3:02am - kids - by Lesser (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (4245)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (3957)
On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12646) - you deserved it (37138)
On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35982) - you deserved it (1823) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version
Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33711) - you deserved it (3406)
On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (7264)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31835) - you deserved it (6274)
On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (1299)
On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)
Monday 20 May 2013
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