Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bwinski

Offline (yesterday at 9:17am) | Search for a member

bwinski

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 February 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7808
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bwinski's page activity

Visits<b>kt26527</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:31pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:52pm<b>KingBobtheThird</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:47pm<b>kaitlynjane</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:31pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:14am<b>teresa96706</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:31am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:07pm<b>NoirChartreux</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:59am<b>iclubfrodo</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:51am<b>HeyHeyFishFillet</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 3:41am<b>chilltime</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 10:26pm<b>TotallyNotABush</b> - the 07/23/2011 at 5:29am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:02am<b>Firesprite2009</b> - the 12/21/2009 at 9:01pm

bwinski's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of bwinski's badges

bwinski's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26431) - you deserved it (3244)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31309) - you deserved it (2151)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to visit my mother after many years. Her hoarding has gotten so bad that now the house is entirely filled with junk and garbage, and she is camping out in the jungle of a backyard, cooking on a cauldron over a fire and shitting in the compost pile, with no working heat or water. FML

#21431843
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (2081)

On 06/25/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by childofcrazy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to call patients that we hadn't seen in a long time. Most of them were dead. FML

#21431312
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (1639)

On 06/24/2015 at 6:18pm - work - by Exil (woman) - United States

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

#21430908
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30239) - you deserved it (3133)

On 06/23/2015 at 10:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27303) - you deserved it (3165)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35971) - you deserved it (2582)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML

#21425373
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (1695)

On 06/13/2015 at 8:42am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25947) - you deserved it (2042)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after telling my mom that I'll be going to Las Vegas with my dad for my 21st birthday, she started ranting about how my dad always wanted to abort me and that she was the only one who actually wanted me. FML

#21421168
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26686) - you deserved it (1930)

On 06/05/2015 at 9:42am - misc - by Dig4life - United States (Washington)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36031) - you deserved it (2403)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

#21416582
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28726) - you deserved it (2396)

On 05/27/2015 at 10:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (2907)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32426) - you deserved it (4360)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: