[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

butterflyeyes

Search for a member

butterflyeyes
  • Town/Country : San Francisco, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 January 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 673
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About butterflyeyes : I'm tall, I'm blonde, I'm thin, and I have blue eyes that you could stare into for days and still find something new in their markings. I have an opinion, whether I make it vocal or not. I've been very blessed in my life, which I'm very thankful for.

Thats me in a very limited, shallow description.

butterflyeyes's last visitors

FreezeJustSoLostCaptainDDLK2snow

butterflyeyes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

butterflyeyes's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (268178) - you deserved it (32426)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114 (396)

I agree, your life sucks (149333) - you deserved it (16600)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (335317) - you deserved it (16552)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (154503) - you deserved it (18169)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a call from the hospital that my fiance was in the ER. When I arrived at the hospital they told me that he had a heart attack while making love. FML

#469613 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (208685) - you deserved it (7652)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by jmoney (woman) - United States

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (128439) - you deserved it (24235)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML

#365324 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (125410) - you deserved it (14963)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by Screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (144003) - you deserved it (21244)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as things were heating up, my closet door flew open and my little brother ran out screaming, "Mom, they're doing it, come quick!" My mom paid my 9 year old brother to spy on me. FML

#309354 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (100690) - you deserved it (11934)

On 03/13/2009 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by evanescence (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (362928) - you deserved it (401258)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (154935) - you deserved it (19174)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

#19556 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (876) - you deserved it (17112)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by maxthndr (man) - United States