About buddy51 : Everything I know about life, I learned from FML!
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Socialite
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43265) - you deserved it (18543)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46320) - you deserved it (3064)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:45am - misc - by ZAS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70501) - you deserved it (2712)
On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58519) - you deserved it (3231)
On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38795) - you deserved it (571260)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98741) - you deserved it (5180)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17482) - you deserved it (54646)
On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (8097)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45153) - you deserved it (5994)
On 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by canadiankc (man) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, at my graduation for my high school GED, my parents said they were getting all my family and my girlfriend together. So we all went out to a steakhouse down the road, everyone ordered steaks. Turns out the 'surprise' was me paying. I only got 50$ grad money, and the bill was 159.98. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47783) - you deserved it (3460)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:40am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14824) - you deserved it (43392)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (49264)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82221) - you deserved it (30310)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22165) - you deserved it (37675)
On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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