About buddy51 : Everything I know about life, I learned from FML!
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I agree, their lives suck
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buddy51's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML
by ZAS / 06/15/2009 at 3:45am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
by Toothy_Peg / 06/13/2009 at 11:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 2:40am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by quadropheniac / 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
by KPKallery / 06/05/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
by canadiankc / 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my graduation for my high school GED, my parents said they were getting all my family and my girlfriend together. So we all went out to a steakhouse down the road, everyone ordered steaks. Turns out the 'surprise' was me paying. I only got 50$ grad money, and the bill was 159.98. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2009 at 1:40am / United States (Virginia) / Money
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
by boinger / 06/03/2009 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
by trashcanned / 04/06/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
- Today, I was left by my girlfriend of 3 years because I was over-jealous of her male friend because… Today, after getting out a low security psychiatric unit two weeks ago and returning to work after… Today, I got home from a double shift to find my husband in bed with my sister. Also, I found out I…