About buddy51 : Everything I know about life, I learned from FML!
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (3671)
On 06/28/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by sk8rgurl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally cracked the password on my husband's email account. I don't know which is worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with several people, or finding his password includes his ex-girlfriend's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49797) - you deserved it (17203)
On 06/28/2009 at 1:42pm - love - by resipsahipsta (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9089) - you deserved it (38512)
On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38963) - you deserved it (3020)
On 06/28/2009 at 12:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48751) - you deserved it (5387)
On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6219) - you deserved it (87404)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7330) - you deserved it (118437)
On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39411) - you deserved it (23771)
On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States
Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85837) - you deserved it (7071)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35494) - you deserved it (1877)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13081) - you deserved it (46143)
On 06/26/2009 at 1:31am - love - by f03_f0r_l1f3 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72606) - you deserved it (10081)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58509) - you deserved it (8836)
On 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by toomuchmetal (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14501) - you deserved it (89262)
On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64359) - you deserved it (4192)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
