About buddy51 : Everything I know about life, I learned from FML!
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I agree, their lives suck
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buddy51's favorite FMLs
by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 5:43am / United States / Work
Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML
by datingablonde / 01/11/2013 at 12:20am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
by good job bf / 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML
by theycallmekitty / 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous
by Facepalmum / 01/10/2013 at 1:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
by thanksmom / 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
by no sleep for me / 01/08/2013 at 2:44am / Miscellaneous
by maddiecat / 01/08/2013 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/08/2013 at 12:20am / United States / Intimacy
by legitweirdo / 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was in a cabin retreat with my fraternity brothers. My girlfriend sent me a sexy picture,… Today, after writing an exam, going to the gym, cramming, and then an eight our shift as a barista,… Today, I woke up from a dream in which I was making passionate love with a beautiful woman. The bad…
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…