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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting busy when all of the sudden he paused and looked me dead in the eye. He said "stop," then farted, followed by, "hammer time." And resumed the pounding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6795) - you totally deserved it (1663)
On 11/06/2009 at 10:22am - intimacy - by mobley - United States
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6647) - you totally deserved it (41242)
On 10/20/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by jaxattax (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22539) - you totally deserved it (5791)
On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28151) - you totally deserved it (1562)
On 10/05/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Eimii (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37541) - you totally deserved it (5029)
On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57410) - you totally deserved it (2410)
On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23322) - you totally deserved it (6466)
On 08/28/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by pistonchamp159 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13417) - you totally deserved it (3964)
On 08/22/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11449) - you totally deserved it (40771)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you totally deserved it (4471)
On 08/12/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by maidmyday (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was sprinting to the bus stop trying to beat the bus. It pulled next to me and honked, startling me off the edge of the road. My foot slipped, I went tumbling, roadrashing my leg. The bus driver stopped, opened the door, and yelled "I was just letting you know this is a training bus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23771) - you totally deserved it (2175)
On 08/04/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by duzitickle (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm. While doing so she was lying on her back. I asked her: "How do you like that, baby?". She responded by asking where I bought the false ceiling and spotlights as she thought it would look good in her flat. She got bored instead of excited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25141) - you totally deserved it (10894)
On 08/04/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Hopelesslover (man) - Malta
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43512) - you totally deserved it (13146)
On 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm - money - by Pottymouth (man) - United States
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10325) - you totally deserved it (31750)
On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my boyfriend said he couldn't come to my grandfathers funeral because he was at his cottage and couldn't make it. Later that day, when driving home from the graveyard I saw him walking down the street, with another girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36293) - you totally deserved it (1424)
On 07/24/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Lyingboyfriend (man) - Canada (Ontario)
