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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
Friday 5 February 2016