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Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43947) - you deserved it (7463)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39402) - you deserved it (125263)
On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16883) - you deserved it (34858)
On 03/01/2009 at 9:20am - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53294) - you deserved it (585383)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14299) - you deserved it (74835)
On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15438) - you deserved it (42758)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
I agree, your life sucks (117820) - you deserved it (8398)
On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13662) - you deserved it (91186)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (650713) - you deserved it (12010)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (2630)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41134) - you deserved it (10083)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177845) - you deserved it (61436)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (1896)
On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37034) - you deserved it (1337)
On 02/03/2009 at 4:46pm - money - by fire0fisis - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7359) - you deserved it (18903)
On 02/03/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by peneloperigby (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Monday 20 May 2013
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