btopishere

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btopishere

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9225
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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btopishere's page activity

Visits<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:12am<b>Lonely_Kid</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 1:34am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:55pm<b>PerfectDude</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:06pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:55pm<b>KristoferM13</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 1:34pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 7:54pm<b>mt631</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:13pm<b>BVBcrazyfangirl</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:23am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:09am<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 6:48pm<b>CombatBurrito</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:32am<b>llstan2006</b> - the 08/05/2009 at 3:36pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 6:27pm<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 11:28pm<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 2:22pm<b>HarborLights</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 6:14pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:34pm

btopishere's FML badges

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btopishere's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

by Can't Spell Worth A Damn / 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

by saddude / 03/04/2009 at 2:03am / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

by dad / 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

by alejita / 03/02/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

by legit / 03/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

by Ashley J. / 03/01/2009 at 5:04pm / United States (West Virginia) / Health

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

by MrCanoe / 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I got a phone call from my mother asking me if I was okay. Confused, I asked her what she meant. She then told me that my boyfriend had broken up with me, and she just wanted to make sure I was handling it alright. I had to find out my relationship was over from my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2009 at 3:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

by Brittany / 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

by yawho / 02/25/2009 at 2:25am / Japan (Tokyo) / Work

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

by sammatthews2007 / 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

by Rich / 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous