btopishere

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btopishere

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9438
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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btopishere's page activity

Visits<b>Fuxxxer</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 10:01pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:12am<b>Lonely_Kid</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 1:34am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:55pm<b>PerfectDude</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:06pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:55pm<b>KristoferM13</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 1:34pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 7:54pm<b>mt631</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:13pm<b>BVBcrazyfangirl</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:23am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:09am<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 6:48pm<b>CombatBurrito</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:32am<b>llstan2006</b> - the 08/05/2009 at 3:36pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 6:27pm<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 11:28pm<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 2:22pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:34pm

btopishere's FML badges

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btopishere's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2009 at 11:07am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML

by skywayavenue / 03/19/2009 at 1:09am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

by Opplyst11 / 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

by myennechee / 03/18/2009 at 1:22am / Germany (Hamburg) / Intimacy

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

by ihatevideos / 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

by SmoothTalker / 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

by MarMar / 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML

by Alexa23 / 03/15/2009 at 11:47am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML

by 12incher / 03/15/2009 at 12:45am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

by superfkd / 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy