About btf420 : tattoos, piercings, and music are my life. motionless in white is my all time favorite band and they inspired my first tattoo with their lyrics :3 if you want to know more or just wanna chat, feel free to message me
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btf420's favorite FMLs
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 10:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by DeepTaccer / 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML
by Victor / 09/09/2009 at 8:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
by auslander / 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML
by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
by the_captain / 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, after hours of non-stop work on an important case, I cheeringly blurted out, "And now, time…