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btf420

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btf420

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 623
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About btf420 : tattoos, piercings, and music are my life. motionless in white is my all time favorite band and they inspired my first tattoo with their lyrics :3 if you want to know more or just wanna chat, feel free to message me

btf420's page activity

Visits<b>zdane</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:05am<b>CrystalCrew124</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:12pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:36pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:12pm<b>umerin</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 12:28am<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Cheeser_Cheese</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 12:35am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 2:38pm<b>ChloeFrance</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:07am<b>ionab101</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:29pm<b>ashkwalliy</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 4:37pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:48am<b>hetajdna</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:22pm<b>atl904</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:01pm<b>brittany2230</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 7:17pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:14am<b>Ben009</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:12am

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btf420's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59760) - you deserved it (10738)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47328) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15120) - you deserved it (56370)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39995) - you deserved it (4709)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41032) - you deserved it (5321)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (62817)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (9741)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

#20549296
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44405) - you deserved it (4553)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48292) - you deserved it (14405)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (49345)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (5676)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47221) - you deserved it (2997)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50874) - you deserved it (6561)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41787) - you deserved it (15694)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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