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btf420

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btf420

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 592
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About btf420 : tattoos, piercings, and music are my life. motionless in white is my all time favorite band and they inspired my first tattoo with their lyrics :3 if you want to know more or just wanna chat, feel free to message me

btf420's page activity

Visits<b>zdane</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:05am<b>CrystalCrew124</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:12pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:36pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:12pm<b>umerin</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 12:28am<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Cheeser_Cheese</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 12:35am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 2:38pm<b>ChloeFrance</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:07am<b>ionab101</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:29pm<b>ashkwalliy</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 4:37pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:48am<b>hetajdna</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:22pm<b>atl904</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:01pm<b>brittany2230</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 7:17pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:14am<b>Ben009</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:12am

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btf420's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55865) - you deserved it (32873)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77205) - you deserved it (5277)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46838) - you deserved it (8986)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70082) - you deserved it (5170)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47669) - you deserved it (10038)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49201) - you deserved it (11050)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51108) - you deserved it (4435)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60460) - you deserved it (9137)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61695) - you deserved it (4982)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41809) - you deserved it (3555)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79533) - you deserved it (4085)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32691) - you deserved it (111815)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

#20611911
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39981) - you deserved it (13930)

On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43391) - you deserved it (5222)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68573) - you deserved it (17858)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada



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