brunogtz

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brunogtz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1887
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About brunogtz : hey, i'm an ear

brunogtz's page activity

Visits<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:25am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 4:24am<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:50am<b>its_jonny_bro</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:40pm<b>odod777</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:12pm<b>jalenlounis</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 6:05am<b>AndrewWeschke</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:43am<b>alfalfalaffa</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:06pm<b>fixingme99</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 4:52pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 5:54am<b>Zombielanddd</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 12:44am<b>rosenkrieger223</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 12:19am<b>mbomb</b> - the 01/26/2012 at 5:23am<b>japcracker08</b> - the 12/01/2011 at 7:13pm<b>Cath1_1</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 12:36pm<b>Mikko8</b> - the 10/21/2011 at 2:49pm<b>forestsunshine</b> - the 10/15/2011 at 10:31pm

brunogtz's FML badges

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Up and coming moderator

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brunogtz's favorite FMLs

Today, it was the premiere of a huge play I've worked on for months. The latest week we've practised a lot, resulting in little sleep. In one of the scenes I'm just lying there pretending to be asleep. Guess who actually fell asleep? FML

by lol123 / 07/10/2009 at 6:09am / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

by AlexK / 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML

by ahhnotoy / 04/26/2009 at 10:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

by StewPit / 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

by WeezysBaby / 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

by tracelee / 03/03/2009 at 4:22am / United States (California) / Transportation