Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brunogtz

Search for a member

brunogtz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1235
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About brunogtz : hey, i'm an ear

brunogtz's page activity

Visits<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - 15 hours ago<b>its_jonny_bro</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:40pm<b>odod777</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:12pm<b>jalenlounis</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 6:05am<b>AndrewWeschke</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:43am<b>alfalfalaffa</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:06pm<b>fixingme99</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 4:52pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 5:54am<b>Zombielanddd</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 12:44am<b>rosenkrieger223</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 12:19am<b>mbomb</b> - the 01/26/2012 at 5:23am<b>japcracker08</b> - the 12/01/2011 at 7:13pm<b>Cath1_1</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 12:36pm<b>Mikko8</b> - the 10/21/2011 at 2:49pm<b>forestsunshine</b> - the 10/15/2011 at 10:31pm<b>sweettpie129</b> - the 10/10/2011 at 2:03pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/10/2011 at 12:30am

brunogtz's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of brunogtz's badges

brunogtz's favorite FMLs

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10019) - you deserved it (145759)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (7718)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20963) - you deserved it (3151)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8415) - you deserved it (52718) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend to marry me, because it's a leap year. He is now avoiding me for fear that I was serious. FML

#19188857
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20235) - you deserved it (14748)

On 02/29/2012 at 1:10pm - love - by CptZoe - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27837) - you deserved it (2172)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35036) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (3989)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (6895)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23996) - you deserved it (4521)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

#18973546
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19168) - you deserved it (6158)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm - health - by 11niko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

#18936126
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7905) - you deserved it (30148)

On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20331) - you deserved it (3272)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17491) - you deserved it (31451)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

#18790783
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15097) - you deserved it (25333)

On 01/12/2012 at 10:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: