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Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (11289)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7828) - you deserved it (41706)
On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9135) - you deserved it (85358)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44268) - you deserved it (6223)
On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)
Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25405) - you deserved it (1966)
On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29817) - you deserved it (1400)
On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8345) - you deserved it (35846)
On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (1700)
On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (3235)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2578) - you deserved it (43289)
On 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rainydays79 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7868) - you deserved it (27052)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by Crissylove10 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (1664)
On 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Sanchez (man) - United States
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5426) - you deserved it (50889)
On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (9529)
On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (9529)
On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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