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bruck27

Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 7:27pm) | Search for a member

bruck27

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  • Number of visits : 693
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bruck27's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bruck27's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63987) - you deserved it (9100)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34630) - you deserved it (4067)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

#13291298
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (3860)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of looking, my fiancé and I finally signed a lease. We are using my savings to pay for it. This apparently poses a "moral dilemma" for my in-laws who think we should wait to be married. I'm paying for an apartment I'm not allowed to live in. FML

#13179613
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23518) - you deserved it (5643)

On 09/24/2010 at 2:33am - money - by sauce - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39496) - you deserved it (14846)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

#12604182
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10046) - you deserved it (56925)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12644) - you deserved it (113319)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

#10624819
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50166) - you deserved it (6755)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

#8830762
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32779) - you deserved it (2790)

On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

#8621436
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22511) - you deserved it (3878)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:15pm - work - by richgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

#8588296
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36652) - you deserved it (1993)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11275) - you deserved it (48879)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (2372)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (4373)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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