bruck27

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Offline (the 04/30/2016 at 2:32am)

bruck27

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1871
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bruck27's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of bruck27's badges

bruck27's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 8:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

by embarrassed / 11/11/2011 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

by tommyboy783 / 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

by lyssamarie316 / 09/30/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

by Tom / 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

by fmylife7721 / 07/03/2011 at 1:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

by paulwatson93 / 05/17/2011 at 12:28am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy