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browneyedgirl52's FML badges
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browneyedgirl52's favorite FMLs
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Wow / 04/11/2013 at 8:52am / United States / Love
Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML
by SoClose / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by nottoosmall / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML
by letdown13 / 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm / United States (New York) / Love
by ItsAnanya / 04/02/2013 at 11:34am / India (Delhi) / Love
Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML
by ak_6694 / 04/02/2013 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML
by My Life Is Just PERFECT / 03/30/2013 at 11:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by dangerZone / 02/27/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
by oh no / 01/29/2013 at 9:51am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
by really?!? / 01/25/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 12:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…