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browneyedgirl52's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
by firestar772 / 06/12/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Kids
by :( / 06/06/2013 at 7:37pm / United States / Work
by hesgonnahateme / 06/06/2013 at 1:08am / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Applejacks18 / 06/06/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Montana) / Health
by Bookworm / 06/05/2013 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
by fuck wannabe knowitalls / 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML
by LightsOut / 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML
by ElhonnaDS / 05/20/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by well okay then / 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by whathehell / 04/27/2013 at 4:28am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm / United States / Love
by LesbianHonest / 04/22/2013 at 3:52pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
by shatMyself / 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm / United States / Health
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…