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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66427) - you deserved it (7700)
On 03/18/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by lemonjuice (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13452) - you deserved it (86445)
On 03/16/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States
Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44541) - you deserved it (25593)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every week. Lately she’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. Today she said: “The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating.” My answer was: "Aren't we?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (68233) - you deserved it (10897)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55852) - you deserved it (35609)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whatdoyoudo (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20348) - you deserved it (50338)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (180458) - you deserved it (31987)
On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States
Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25375) - you deserved it (54213)
On 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by SoggyPancakes (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said i was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51393) - you deserved it (3724)
On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (151265) - you deserved it (7426)
On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33675) - you deserved it (22925)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50352) - you deserved it (2057)
On 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by Tony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46118) - you deserved it (3073)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69253) - you deserved it (23222)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was reading my girlfriend's girly magazine. There was an article stating that if a girl tells a guy his dick is the perfect size, she really means that it is too small. My girlfriend claims everything is the magazine is right. She told me my dick was the perfect size last weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57921) - you deserved it (6503)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:14am - intimacy - by JP (man) - United States (Louisiana)
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