brn_baby_brn

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Offline (the 09/16/2016 at 10:01pm)

brn_baby_brn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 856
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brn_baby_brn's page activity

Visits<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:44pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:50pm<b>gabix3</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:08pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:43am<b>wookieewhosshe</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:01pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:16am<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:46pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:43pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:42pm<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:35pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:44am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 2:07am<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:57pm<b>swimchic20</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 2:49am<b>metallica_wins</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 9:33pm<b>xBethanyC</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 3:53am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:58pm<b>SirFrancisDrake</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 1:40pm

brn_baby_brn's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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brn_baby_brn's favorite FMLs

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé called me 'thick' for not realising he'd been sleeping with his ex earlier. FML

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 9:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2015 at 11:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

by weirdthingtosay / 11/21/2014 at 4:56am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

by gettinghotinhere / 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

by Teu_much / 06/09/2014 at 10:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love