brkn_hearted

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brkn_hearted

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 32345
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About brkn_hearted : God gave us two eyes, two ears, two arms
two legs, two feet, two hands, but she only
gave us one heart. you know why? because
she gave the other one to someone else and
? its ? our ? job ? to ? find ? it ?

now understanding of the simple fact that the more you're with someone, the more flaws arise. some aren't bad, but others ruin everything.

brkn_hearted's page activity

Visits<b>withered</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 4:20am<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 5:25am<b>ebroks</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 12:09pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 11:45am<b>atinytoebean</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 2:42pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 11:44am<b>daniel271</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 4:44am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 11:35pm<b>MarkTheMintMan</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 2:02pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 7:08pm<b>Bgrish</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:10am<b>that_average_guy</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:32am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:51pm<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:08am<b>_rcp_4767</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:31pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:39am<b>TomatoGuts</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:26am<b>2nugsnotdrugs2</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:50pm

Fucked!<b>atinytoebean</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:42pm<b>SEROKE</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 5:24am

brkn_hearted's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

brkn_hearted's favorite FMLs

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

by Emoney1 / 05/26/2011 at 10:06am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

by 2classicNot2 / 04/09/2011 at 3:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

by Username / 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

by pummy / 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

by Liz / 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy