About brkn_hearted : God gave us two eyes, two ears, two arms
two legs, two feet, two hands, but she only
gave us one heart. you know why? because
she gave the other one to someone else and
? its ? our ? job ? to ? find ? it ?
now understanding of the simple fact that the more you're with someone, the more flaws arise. some aren't bad, but others ruin everything.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22131) - you deserved it (4786)
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (4683)
On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36081) - you deserved it (6509)
On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14995) - you deserved it (21704)
On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (2441)
On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was trying to write an essay for school while sleep deprived. After getting 7 pages into it, I crashed face-first onto the keyboard and slept for 20 minutes. When I woke up, my essay was nothing more than a blank document. My face had been pressing the Backspace button the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15296) - you deserved it (23513)
On 11/10/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by IHateYouBackspace (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26465) - you deserved it (1660)
On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (3500)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4146) - you deserved it (18588)
On 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by pummy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (3690)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (3690)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8745) - you deserved it (76401)
On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43126) - you deserved it (3471)
On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39234) - you deserved it (6070)
On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)
Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (85822) - you deserved it (36519)
On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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