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brittney247251

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brittney247251

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  • Number of visits : 176
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brittney247251's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (5015)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7737) - you deserved it (32821)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10072) - you deserved it (34687) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

#19144549
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9142) - you deserved it (28436)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by wobble... - Australia

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15809) - you deserved it (29175)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44705) - you deserved it (4625)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40266) - you deserved it (3934) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (4848)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33217) - you deserved it (9194)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17528) - you deserved it (27103) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (5366)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17180) - you deserved it (43723)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

#18496344
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31674) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40057) - you deserved it (9443)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

#18342381
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13251) - you deserved it (46227)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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