breydonw

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breydonw

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 358
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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breydonw's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 6:48pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:56am<b>rapunzel3416</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 11:42pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:17pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 8:10pm

breydonw's FML badges

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breydonw's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm / Czech Republic / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

by fineididntwantkidsanyway / 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

by Mimi / 11/29/2012 at 12:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

by RockedSystem / 04/22/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids