Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Online | Search for a member

brewmasterg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4358
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>starcaller17</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 1:53am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:49pm<b>DeathcoreDoge</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:19pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:34am<b>TheDarkKnight34</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:19am<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:01pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:34pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:04pm<b>mybarra6</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 10:07am<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:44am<b>olivetree172</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Rajafashaneshi</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:36pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:37am<b>Mads_1234</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:42pm<b>PotatoUnicorn</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:10am<b>timotay89</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:12pm<b>PassiveAggresive</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:04pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:39pm

brewmasterg's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (49139)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

#21058436
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45095) - you deserved it (7026)

On 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

#21058436
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45095) - you deserved it (7026)

On 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37070) - you deserved it (4382)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43572) - you deserved it (14230) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39254) - you deserved it (4784)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35880) - you deserved it (40338)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

#21050455
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49257) - you deserved it (4970)

On 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by DeeDee - Austria (Wien)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53828) - you deserved it (6640)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML

#21046250
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36611) - you deserved it (2959)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:46pm - work - by fuckfuck (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47008) - you deserved it (4009)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49899) - you deserved it (5386)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (41870)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44586) - you deserved it (9223)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: