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brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4888
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (3584)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML

#17848312
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (1976)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:25pm - health - by fml - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31668) - you deserved it (5186)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (11483)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML

#17734062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (3158)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

#17731995
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (4491)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by Randy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML

#17728264
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (2564)

On 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm - work - by pea - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28694) - you deserved it (3785)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after complaining they were too expensive. FML

#17687215
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (2312)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:55am - work - by minimoonpie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (4241)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40129) - you deserved it (2050)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (3354)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

#17592683
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (3740)

On 08/27/2011 at 4:12am - health - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)



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