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brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

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brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7224
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23016) - you deserved it (1822)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

#19319000
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31141) - you deserved it (9728)

On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

#19306494
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (2204)

On 03/19/2012 at 8:39am - misc - by fuuu. - Hong Kong

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26958) - you deserved it (6893)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (1911)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8577) - you deserved it (28272)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (1759)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

#19161997
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33597) - you deserved it (2061)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

#19154802
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7289) - you deserved it (29819)

On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

#19139199
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30467) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML

#19113107
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (2677)

On 02/19/2012 at 3:55am - health - by preggo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (5305)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26430) - you deserved it (3518)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26514) - you deserved it (1960)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)



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