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brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

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brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5828
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>AshOfPalletTown</b> - 52 minutes ago<b>insanecutie</b> - 7 hours ago<b>TemperanceRiley</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:45am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:44pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:41am<b>ebsblackwood</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:26pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:04pm<b>chuchaiilabss</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:55pm<b>justinsoren</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Headcrab</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:28pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 1:45pm<b>medic8</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:54am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:57pm<b>dawood_k</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 8:12am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 8:28pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:47pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:50pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:38pm

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48476) - you deserved it (8857)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20210) - you deserved it (49551)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38788) - you deserved it (2579)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I was taking an order for a patron at the casino. The policy is to "pay first." After explaining this to him, he still refused to pay. After years of being polite, I finally cracked and said, "You are making this really f-ing difficult". This particular patron was our CEO's son. FML

#21228632
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37599) - you deserved it (12145)

On 08/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by really though? - United States (Delaware)

Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML

#21227005
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39867) - you deserved it (11218)

On 08/01/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by infortunatename - United States (California)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21422) - you deserved it (62391)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35181) - you deserved it (11511)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46678) - you deserved it (8164)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49222) - you deserved it (4478)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by zl5 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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