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brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

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brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5805
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30711) - you deserved it (1757)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25792) - you deserved it (2504)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24670) - you deserved it (2188)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29780) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5903) - you deserved it (51036)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25468) - you deserved it (6589)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

#20119594
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27329) - you deserved it (1559)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm - health - by hurtinrealbad - United States (Arizona)

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24039) - you deserved it (5658)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33921) - you deserved it (5522)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33314) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I had a big argument with my girlfriend, after she tried to stop me going home, even though it was already past my curfew. I got home, only to find out I'm grounded for staying out late, and dumped for being "inconsiderate". FML

#20104336
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21787) - you deserved it (3019)

On 10/06/2012 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (4444)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (1709)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -



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