Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

4Liked!

brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6607
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>Sebastian2022</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Googolman</b> - 7 hours ago<b>buckstop1</b> - 7 hours ago<b>caseiscool90</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Tarlachia</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Circles</b> - yesterday at 11:03am<b>Faddyy6</b> - yesterday at 10:16pm<b>hardesty</b> - yesterday at 9:36pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:01am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:10pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 6:27pm<b>thatsavagecat</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:57pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:05pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:31pm<b>conman531</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:20am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:50am<b>ZiggysMommy512</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:41am<b>YepThatsMeee</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:15am

Liked!<b>Tarlachia</b> - 23 hours ago<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (2931)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

#20183959
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23733) - you deserved it (1494)

On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25169) - you deserved it (1761)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11515) - you deserved it (23936)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (4349)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20350) - you deserved it (1489)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (3775)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26058) - you deserved it (2095)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24104) - you deserved it (2480)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20157) - you deserved it (3118)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

#20154142
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19764) - you deserved it (2096)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19763) - you deserved it (3165)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (3166)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: