Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3586
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>foxwasalamb</b> - yesterday at 7:36pm<b>zBerryz</b> - yesterday at 2:19am<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:17am<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:10am<b>blazerman</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:44am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:14am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 10:16pm<b>rileyrae</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:18pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 12:04pm<b>Austrand22</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:33am<b>nlm92</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:36am<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:57am<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:17am<b>mat_sib</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:02am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:35am<b>Fedezzer</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:09am<b>justinsoren</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27290) - you deserved it (3060)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

#19721854
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (2146)

On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I saw my reflection in the computer screen and I thought I looked quite nice. I tried to take a screenshot. FML

#19712895
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6109) - you deserved it (26073)

On 05/31/2012 at 11:25pm - misc - by Mikaela - United States

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

#19704356
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20021) - you deserved it (2009)

On 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm - kids - by unzucht (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML

#19703375
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (8873)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:37am - work - by Fackwork (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33102) - you deserved it (1871)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

#19684579
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17078) - you deserved it (2721)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (4588)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13717) - you deserved it (24454)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (5983)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22060) - you deserved it (2952)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML

#19597798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20449) - you deserved it (1913)

On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13215) - you deserved it (167733)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (1911)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: