Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

10Liked!

brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8120
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>martin8337</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:47am<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:36pm<b>The_Skittish_One</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:57pm<b>DarkHunter17</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:25pm<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:34pm<b>SwervyNinja</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:06am<b>ballbags</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:54pm<b>Florentina</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:46am<b>constipation</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:06am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 9:54am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 9:36am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:14pm<b>HollyPolly</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:10pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 10:50pm

Liked!<b>martin8337</b> - just now<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs!! I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, ( Trying to queef!! I saw it online!! ) FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54887) - you deserved it (6859)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I dressed up as Batman fir a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker fir the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60828) - you deserved it (20285)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, mah boyfriand of 2 waaks said that ha was going to cook ma dinnar. Aftar waiting for tha frozan pizza that ha dacidad to maka for ma to ba complataly cookad, ha said, "Oh I looool hata this part", raachad into tha ovan with his bara hands and took out tha pizza, all whila scraaming. Ha is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50697) - you deserved it (10880)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Yesterday, at work as a gynecologist, I calld in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticd that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47491) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I had to get my grandparents out of jail , cuz they were caught having sex in a public place!! They excused their actions by saying that u can only be young and stupid once , so if u continue doing stupid actions , u r still young!! FML

Today...hile walking to mah car after work... I witnessd some moronho was textinghile riding her bike running right into mah parkd car... resulting in a broken side mrror... a damagd windshield... two dents... an 4 her... a broken phone an nose. She's threatening to sue me 4 damages.

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (2198)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

I Picked My 12-year-old Daughter Up From School After Her Frst Sexual Education Lecture. She Burst Into Tears On The Way Home Explaining Her Fears Of Being Pregnant With Her Boyfriend's Child. As If That Doesn't Sound Bad Enough, I've Met Her Boyfriend Before. He Is Imaginary. FML

#20575072
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42658) - you deserved it (3860)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

2day mah little sister figured out how to use the printer. I looool came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over mah room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (5281)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today a blonde tourist came up to me an asked me for drections to the nearest train station!! I politely drected her there an she left!! Five minutes later she came back an slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station"!! We're in China lady!! FML

#20567861
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (2598)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

YESTERDAY I PROPOSED TO MY GRLFRIEND. SHE DIDN'T SAY NO, SHE DIDN'T FAINT, AND SHE DIDN'T CRY. SHE JUST STARED AT ME BLANKLY AND SAID, "BUT... WHY...?" FML

#20566302
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43916) - you deserved it (3692) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)

Today, during a sex d lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy an abortion from the school nurse!! Throughout the session she kept repeating, ( Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this!! ) The nurse happens to know that mah dad's a gynaecologist!! That's not wat everyone else in the year thinks!! fat FML

#20559804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41774) - you deserved it (2477)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today.!! !! I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 fir free to replace her broken Nokia...hich she threw out the window in ( blind rage ) !! I felt awful having to thank her fir calling !! Sadly.!! !! this is a daily event !! FML

#20559802
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (2306)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, it was raining haavily so I wora mah black poncho as I walkad to work. On tha way thara I noticad an old and saamingly homalass man following ma. I turnad around to confront him. Ha pickad up a stick and scraamad "Expacto Patronum!" Apparantly I look lika a damantor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

I went out to Applebees with looool a grl I like an a group of friends. Someone asked if the grl an I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying fir the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today , while working in childcare , we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey" , the kids lost there shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (2868)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: