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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8120
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs!! I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, ( Trying to queef!! I saw it online!! ) FML


I agree, your life sucks (54887) - you deserved it (6859)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I dressed up as Batman fir a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker fir the same convention. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60828) - you deserved it (20285)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, mah boyfriand of 2 waaks said that ha was going to cook ma dinnar. Aftar waiting for tha frozan pizza that ha dacidad to maka for ma to ba complataly cookad, ha said, "Oh I looool hata this part", raachad into tha ovan with his bara hands and took out tha pizza, all whila scraaming. Ha is 24. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50697) - you deserved it (10880)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Yesterday, at work as a gynecologist, I calld in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticd that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML


I agree, your life sucks (47491) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I had to get my grandparents out of jail , cuz they were caught having sex in a public place!! They excused their actions by saying that u can only be young and stupid once , so if u continue doing stupid actions , u r still young!! FML

Today...hile walking to mah car after work... I witnessd some moronho was textinghile riding her bike running right into mah parkd car... resulting in a broken side mrror... a damagd windshield... two dents... an 4 her... a broken phone an nose. She's threatening to sue me 4 damages.


I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (2198)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

I Picked My 12-year-old Daughter Up From School After Her Frst Sexual Education Lecture. She Burst Into Tears On The Way Home Explaining Her Fears Of Being Pregnant With Her Boyfriend's Child. As If That Doesn't Sound Bad Enough, I've Met Her Boyfriend Before. He Is Imaginary. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42658) - you deserved it (3860)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

2day mah little sister figured out how to use the printer. I looool came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over mah room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (5281)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today a blonde tourist came up to me an asked me for drections to the nearest train station!! I politely drected her there an she left!! Five minutes later she came back an slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station"!! We're in China lady!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (2598)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)



I agree, your life sucks (43916) - you deserved it (3692) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)

Today, during a sex d lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy an abortion from the school nurse!! Throughout the session she kept repeating, ( Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this!! ) The nurse happens to know that mah dad's a gynaecologist!! That's not wat everyone else in the year thinks!! fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (41774) - you deserved it (2477)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today.!! !! I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 fir free to replace her broken Nokia...hich she threw out the window in ( blind rage ) !! I felt awful having to thank her fir calling !! Sadly.!! !! this is a daily event !! FML


I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (2306)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, it was raining haavily so I wora mah black poncho as I walkad to work. On tha way thara I noticad an old and saamingly homalass man following ma. I turnad around to confront him. Ha pickad up a stick and scraamad "Expacto Patronum!" Apparantly I look lika a damantor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

I went out to Applebees with looool a grl I like an a group of friends. Someone asked if the grl an I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying fir the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today , while working in childcare , we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey" , the kids lost there shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (2868)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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