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brewmasterg

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brewmasterg

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brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6919
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

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brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28379) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

#21305532
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26856) - you deserved it (5553)

On 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm - animals - by amazinghermit (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (3060)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28465) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

#21299071
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32735) - you deserved it (2208)

On 11/14/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML

#21298350
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37650) - you deserved it (4608)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (2081)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42742) - you deserved it (3177)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (3275)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

#21293581
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40534) - you deserved it (6505)

On 11/06/2014 at 6:37pm - money - by Anonymou$ (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

#21293397
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35066) - you deserved it (2462)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by CatLover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36458) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (4142)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32282) - you deserved it (4458)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)



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