Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

0Liked!

brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5310
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - 17 hours ago<b>chuchaiilabss</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:55pm<b>justinsoren</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Headcrab</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:28pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 1:45pm<b>medic8</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:54am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:57pm<b>dawood_k</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 8:12am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 8:28pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:47pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:50pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:38pm<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:32pm<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:04pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:14am<b>LiveLifeAllDay</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:52am<b>mmmmmk</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 5:20am<b>GoodOptions</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:52am

brewmasterg's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

#21031476
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (51753)

On 01/18/2014 at 3:33am - money - by unicorn_skies - United States (California)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40145) - you deserved it (7707)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML

#21030844
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39655) - you deserved it (4888)

On 01/17/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67594) - you deserved it (4142)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58468) - you deserved it (5185)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49621) - you deserved it (8246)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44731) - you deserved it (4352)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

#21024822
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59654) - you deserved it (8144)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45785) - you deserved it (4929)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43165) - you deserved it (5106)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41867) - you deserved it (4133)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

#21021631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46900) - you deserved it (4746)

On 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm - animals - by Zach Got Robbed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59613) - you deserved it (4354)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49412) - you deserved it (17606)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, despite all of the pictures and proof of my fiancé, my parents still think I have an imaginary boyfriend. They met him, and were there when he proposed. They think it's all a joke. FML

#21017461
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53577) - you deserved it (4027)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:11am - love - by Fiancé problemsss - United States (Montana)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: