Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

11Fucked!

brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8576
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:30pm<b>abNormal62</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:34am<b>jreed2296</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:40pm<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:46am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:54am<b>tj4234</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 7:01pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:25am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:47am<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:36pm<b>The_Skittish_One</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:57pm<b>DarkHunter17</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:25pm<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:34pm<b>SwervyNinja</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:06am<b>ballbags</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:54pm<b>Florentina</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:46am<b>constipation</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:06am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:55pm

Fucked!<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:26am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31191) - you deserved it (2491)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

#21387157
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28742) - you deserved it (2114)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36898) - you deserved it (2078)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out there's a support page on Facebook for people who have been "hurt" by me. FML

#21384648
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16053) - you deserved it (29527)

On 03/31/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by SupportPage - United States (California)

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26214) - you deserved it (1987)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML

#21383983
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (2121)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43629) - you deserved it (2939)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, some well-meaning soul told me to just pray my depression away, which would be about as effective as praying away a knife in my shin. FML

#21382206
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (3275)

On 03/27/2015 at 1:31am - misc - by an anon - United States (California)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (3120)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

#21381191
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31593) - you deserved it (1877)

On 03/25/2015 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML

#21380543
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30418) - you deserved it (2182)

On 03/24/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by why me - United States (Georgia)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36913) - you deserved it (2229)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: