About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
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breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
by lemonlime66 / 11/19/2015 at 7:25pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
Today, my friend and I were having a casual discussion about sex. Blowjobs came up and my friend said she'd never dared to give one, arguing that swallowing sperm can make you pregnant. I then had to go on with a 30 minute argument with her on how that's not possible. She's 26. FML
by LilPie / 11/19/2015 at 5:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, while bench pressing at the gym, I noticed my spotter had spit hanging from his mouth right above me. When I tried to warn him about it, he ignored me and told me to finish the set. When the drool fell in my mouth, I was startled and dropped the 175 weights and bar on my chest. FML
by Me / 11/19/2015 at 5:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonynomi / 11/19/2015 at 12:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML
by auto boogie man / 11/19/2015 at 11:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by mini matthylde / 11/19/2015 at 4:57am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML
by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 3:15am / United States (California) / Love
by Creepedout / 11/18/2015 at 10:26pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Secret Isis supporter / 11/18/2015 at 7:52pm / United States (California) / Work
by jlujan00 / 11/18/2015 at 6:40pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals
by facepalm / 11/18/2015 at 10:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 9:50am / Canada / Health
Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 8:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 6:40am / Austria (Wien) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
- Today, I just had a phone interview with a college. The lady asked me to spell out my password to a… Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I… Today, I put some of my wife's eucalyptus oil in my bath to make it relaxing. I soon found out the…
- Today, on the worst day of my life, my fiance decided to bail on me to go to a party. Where she got… Today, I took off my engagement ring to shower (or so I think) because it's too big, considering we… Today I got a message from a girl I've been dating; I've dated a few women the last couple of years…