About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
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breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
Today, at a bar, I overheard two attractive men speaking in French. I went over and tried to introduce myself with what little French I know. They looked at me like I was crazy and then said in English, "What are you doing?" Turns out they weren't speaking French. FML
by TwirlyWhirl / 11/09/2015 at 3:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out everyone in my neighborhood thinks that I'm a beaten woman due to the reoccurring ambulances in front of my house at night. My kid just chokes on everything, and they don't believe me. FML
by NotABeatenWoman / 11/08/2015 at 7:36pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 7:18pm / Netherlands / Love
Today, I went to McDonald's. I was unaware of the Monopoly contest that they were holding. I was also unaware that you have to get 3 stickers of the same colour to claim your prize, and that it's not that easy to win a Jeep Cherokee. Taking down my Facebook post was awkward. FML
by youknowyoureoptimisticwhen / 11/08/2015 at 11:45am / Canada (Quebec) / Money
Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML
by Geemeisters / 11/08/2015 at 5:03am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Transportation
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
by UglyGirl / 11/08/2015 at 4:34am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 1:15am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/07/2015 at 9:58am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by apaterra / 11/07/2015 at 9:14am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
Today, I got married. The minister pronounced us husband and wife using our first names. Except he used my husband's ex-wife's name. I happened to glance at my mother-in-law who was almost in tears from laughing so hard. FML
by jellenwood / 11/07/2015 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while walking to work with my best friend, he broke down in tears. I asked what was wrong, and he told me his mom passed away last night. All I could think to do was give him a hug and say I was sorry. Then some assclown walking past said "GAAAYYY!" and walked away laughing hysterically. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2015 at 8:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/07/2015 at 12:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Nuts / 11/06/2015 at 9:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, despite having my 5-day-leave approved 2 months ago, my boss demanded I return to work in the middle of it. Why? She wants to go on a vacation and no one else is available at such short notice. FML
by FMyJob / 11/06/2015 at 6:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/06/2015 at 6:22pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…