About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
breekittenmitten's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
by notjustfat / 04/20/2016 at 7:24pm / United States / Love
by 0h_Boy / 04/20/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML
by K.S.S. / 04/16/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by Finding Kemo / 04/16/2016 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML
by Unsuspecting / 04/16/2016 at 8:23am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 3:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
by sigh / 04/12/2016 at 10:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, while driving, a spider crawled onto my gearstick. Not being afraid of them, I casually flicked it off. Onto the person sitting next to me. The person evaluating me for my driving test at the time, who happened to be arachnophobic. FML
by Arachnofail / 04/08/2016 at 12:16am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 3:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays
Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…