About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
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breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 1:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 6:39am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I thought that working as a lifeguard I would be saving lives, rescuing people and things along those lines. What do I get told to do on my first shift? Clean all the fecal matter and hair out the pool. I almost threw up. FML
by TheLifguard95 / 04/26/2016 at 7:49pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my mother showed me a picture of a dog in need of a home. Excitedly, I asked if we were getting it, having wanted one for a few months now. She said, 'No. I'm not even sure why I showed you." FML
by AnnaMuffin / 04/26/2016 at 6:08pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Animals
by Sting / 04/26/2016 at 4:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Dashofweak / 04/26/2016 at 12:17pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Why / 04/24/2016 at 2:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/24/2016 at 10:38am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that'll kill my sex drive, just so she won't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2016 at 8:46am / Switzerland (Graubunden) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML
by just die already / 04/24/2016 at 5:55am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 4:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Kids
Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot, since he screamed in agony. FML
by UnluckyLatina / 04/21/2016 at 11:30pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Traffickills / 04/21/2016 at 8:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…