About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
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breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by deadbeatdad / 11/15/2015 at 5:35pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML
by Koizumiii / 11/15/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, I picked up an elderly woman walking alone in the cold. I asked her where she was going but she didn't respond. Thinking she was just cold, I kept driving until a man driving erratically kept honking at me. Turns out he's her husband and she has severe Alzheimers. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2015 at 12:36pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, I regret asking my neighbor to turn down his music last night. When I left for work, I found his car parked so close to mine that I couldn't squeeze between them. His wife's was parked the same way on the other side. They wouldn't answer their door and I ended up being late to work. FML
by buses suck / 11/15/2015 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Work
by hell / 11/14/2015 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/14/2015 at 2:20am / United States / Love
Today, I got several angry messages on Facebook, demanding to know how I could cheat on my wife. They didn't believe me when I said I had no idea what they meant. Turns out my wife made a sarcastic post about my "new mistress". She was talking about Fallout 4. FML
by FalloutScrolls / 11/13/2015 at 9:49am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML
Today, I had the mother of a five year old come in for parent teacher conferences. When I told her that her son was very smart, but he often made up fantastical stories about his home life, she burst into tears. She then ran out of my office crying, "I knew it! I knew he was a sociopath!" FML
by nothowscienceworks / 11/13/2015 at 2:06am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I finally got to a point where I could ask my mother about how enthusiastically she used to beat me. First sentence out of her mouth was, "It didn't change your behaviour, but it did make me feel better." FML
by MeAgainDr... / 11/13/2015 at 12:24am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health
by 4lphab3t4 / 11/12/2015 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML
by Nora / 11/12/2015 at 4:21pm / United States (North Dakota) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/12/2015 at 4:57am / Miscellaneous
by notyourmummy / 11/12/2015 at 4:09am / United Kingdom (Isle of Wight) / Intimacy