About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
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breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 8:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 6:40am / Austria (Wien) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML
by Already Broke Asf / 11/17/2015 at 8:51pm / United States (South Carolina) / Money
Today, my parents found out that my younger brother has been smoking pot. As his punishment, he can't be home alone anymore. And apparently, I'm now his full-time babysitter since I "don't have a life anyway." FML
by junko / 11/17/2015 at 8:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I took a picture of the combination to my new lock so I would always have it on my phone if I ever forgot it. I put my phone in my gym locker, locked it with the new lock, then promptly forgot the combination. FML
by mmoments / 11/17/2015 at 2:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML
by anon. / 11/17/2015 at 1:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by strawberry / 11/17/2015 at 12:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I called my boss to ask if my paycheck had been deposited yet. He said no, that my grandmother came in to work and picked it up. Confused, I called her. She is holding it ransom until I start calling home every day. I do, but she gets so drunk, she doesn't remember. FML
by kitkat1740 / 11/16/2015 at 7:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML
by weldingmachine217 / 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
by ScreweD- / 11/16/2015 at 4:39pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML
by I Know How to Pick'em / 11/16/2015 at 7:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/16/2015 at 3:23am / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was floating on a river with some friends when I accidentally splashed one of their girlfriends in the face. She started crying and everyone gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the trip. We are all 26 years old. FML
by nightwalker2253 / 11/16/2015 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner / 11/16/2015 at 1:44am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy