Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

breekittenmitten

Online | Search for a member

breekittenmitten

49Fucked!

breekittenmitten
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6945
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.

breekittenmitten's page activity

Visits<b>LPac5295</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:36am<b>ssm04</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:39pm<b>capper44</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:24am<b>Nolimits2218</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:41am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:09pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 7:15pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:31pm<b>ixyasmine</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:48pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:25pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:48pm<b>Robby2448</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:45pm<b>Levius</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:10am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 7:42am<b>OhYouMad</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:20am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:59pm<b>frostownz33</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:55pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 5:44pm

Fucked!<b>Nolimits2218</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:41am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:15am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 11:44pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:36am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 7:43pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:13pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:35pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 5:19am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:40pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 11:22pm<b>cmchappy</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 9:21am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 12:33am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:14pm<b>RA91</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:48pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:21am<b>ShroomSalad</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:28pm<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:26am

breekittenmitten's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of breekittenmitten's badges

breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called. He said he would sing me a song, like I'd wanted for a long time. I was excited, but surprised at his song choice. He sang 'Locked Away' by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Turns out, he was calling me from jail. He thought this was romantic, and expected me to bail him out. FML

Today, after days of cleaning out pantry cabinets and throwing away infested food, I thought I had finally gotten rid of my moth problem. Then I vacuumed, and saw several dozen larvae coming out of my carpet. FML

#21489081
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (2952)

On 11/06/2015 at 1:19am - misc - by mottephobe - United States (California)

Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML

#21489061
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23308) - you deserved it (1719)

On 11/06/2015 at 12:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I attended my school's special invitation-only awards ceremony, relieved that I was getting a much-needed scholarship. I watched all my friends go up and win scholarships. In the end, I only got a certificate for doing well on the PSAT. My whole family showed up for this. FML

#21488845
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (1800)

On 11/05/2015 at 4:34pm - money - by crushedsoul (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML

#21488843
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20092) - you deserved it (1411)

On 11/05/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by fijiflu (woman) -

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

#21488826
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (2344)

On 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm - health - by EnderHorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a man trying to get a screaming little girl into a van. I called 911 and ran over yelling at him. His wife then got out of the van and explained the girl was their daughter and they were just trying to make her go to school. FML

Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML

#21488641
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21836) - you deserved it (2186)

On 11/05/2015 at 1:52am - love - by Queerbait (woman) - Australia

Today, I broke up with the guy I was seeing because he has a bad temper. He refused to believe me and decided that the best way to prove me wrong was to completely destroy my newly built house, inside and out, while I was at work. FML

#21488581
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24369) - you deserved it (1568)

On 11/04/2015 at 10:36pm - love - by hi_im_ughlee (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancée thought that lowering the volume on her phone would lower the amount of data being used by her streaming songs. FML

#21488577
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (2707)

On 11/04/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by dBLIZZARD - United States

Today, I had to convince my nine year-old brother to stop using my biology textbook as a masturbatory aid so I could actually get some studying done. FML

#21488529
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (1743)

On 11/04/2015 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML

Today, I agreed to go on a date with this really nice guy. Halfway through the date he starts talking about his wife and kids. FML

#21488409
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (1831)

On 11/04/2015 at 1:46pm - love - by Lori (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at work at the library and a patron handed me some change. When I asked what it was for, he said he had found it in one of the urinals. FML

#21488386
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (1340)

On 11/04/2015 at 12:30pm - work - by apaterra - United States

Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML

#21488383
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22106) - you deserved it (1340)

On 11/04/2015 at 12:26pm - misc - by mydadforgetsme - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: