Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

breekittenmitten

Search for a member

breekittenmitten

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1373
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About breekittenmitten : The name is Bree, I live and breathe music.

breekittenmitten's page activity

Visits<b>ApollosMyth</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:28am<b>fancypotato</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 7:59pm<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:40pm<b>hyperman622</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:41am<b>tulha</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:57am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 4:16pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 5:50pm<b>mybarra6</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 8:33pm<b>MyUsernameIsBest</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 1:25pm<b>stilysm</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 10:27am<b>hplkush</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:51pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 10:58pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:04am<b>playah16</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 11:22pm<b>colerean</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 10:35pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 3:46pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 3:19pm

breekittenmitten's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of breekittenmitten's badges

breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

#21040870
167 comments

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (41874)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after waiting two weeks for an email with my online textbook access code, it still hadn't arrived in time for my quiz tomorrow, so I ended up spending most of my money on the expensive physical copy. Not long after I got back home, the email finally arrived. FML

#21040578
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (4551)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Ceredigion)

Today, after working 12 hours, my scooter broke down 2 miles from home. I had to walk myself and my scooter home all uphill. My boyfriend and his friends drove by, honked and kept going. FML

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

#21040204
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51118) - you deserved it (4727)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

#21039900
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you deserved it (47562)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49550) - you deserved it (8240)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

#21028633
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35724) - you deserved it (4955)

On 01/15/2014 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56687) - you deserved it (13934)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

#21027843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (7786)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

#21027732
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52368) - you deserved it (5206)

On 01/14/2014 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33606) - you deserved it (16702)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41913) - you deserved it (4518)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45600) - you deserved it (7095)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45770) - you deserved it (5380)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: