Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5213
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey, I'm 17. I'm a cosmetologist, and I'm addicted to tattoo's, gaming, and American Horror Story.
All I want in life is cats and to be taller so yeah

breekittenmitten's page activity

Visits<b>christofferkamal</b> - yesterday at 1:27am<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 9:58pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:35am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:44am<b>acevango</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:37pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:24pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:36am<b>Lukin</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:03am<b>RA91</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 6:48am<b>murr52727</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:56am<b>loganswann</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:54pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:42pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:21pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:46pm<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:03am<b>A07</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:53pm<b>eleanorrigby90</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 7:26pm<b>emmathindra</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:03pm

Fucked!<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:14pm<b>RA91</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:48pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:21am<b>ShroomSalad</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:28pm<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:26am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:38am<b>Killer_Spoon</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:06pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:16am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Mons</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ausmoss123</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:16am<b>chandler88</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:24am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 9:16am<b>JPjenny</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:02am<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:32am<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Maaska</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:28am

breekittenmitten's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of breekittenmitten's badges

breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (2048)

On 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by catlady - United States (New York)

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16891) - you deserved it (6611)

On 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Animeislyfe - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, I got stuck in the elevator at work. When I was finally let out, my boss decided I shouldn't get a lunch break, because I'd already had over an hour off work while in the elevator. I had to starve through 5 more hours of work. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22640) - you deserved it (1448)

On 08/24/2015 at 5:28pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Liguria)

Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (2062)

On 08/24/2015 at 1:32pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (8203)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

Today, I was at a concert and the performer told everyone to wave their phones in the air. I threw my hand up and then a huge woman caught my iPhone and disappeared into the crowd. FML


Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18902) - you deserved it (5022)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (2416)

On 08/23/2015 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26170) - you deserved it (1569)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:45am - love - by pontwa (man) - Australia

Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21165) - you deserved it (2054)

On 08/23/2015 at 6:22am - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML


Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tazed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19982) - you deserved it (5779)

On 08/22/2015 at 8:21am - work - by BryanTazed - United States (Virginia)

FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: