Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

breekittenmitten

Offline (the 03/14/2015 at 8:26pm) | Search for a member

breekittenmitten

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2920
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About breekittenmitten : 🎀17&Searching, Pansexual, College Girl🎀
If you message me I might not reply but hey, at least you tried😂

breekittenmitten's page activity

Visits<b>24jfred</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:44am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 4:41pm<b>toongler</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:05pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:09pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:57pm<b>jenninator93</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:24am<b>SamBeast</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:00am<b>dk1991</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:18am<b>catracer</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:05am<b>sarahmsw20</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:32pm<b>ApollosMyth</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 2:12am<b>fancypotato</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 7:59pm<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:40pm<b>hyperman622</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:41am<b>tulha</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:57am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 4:16pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 5:50pm

Liked!<b>24jfred</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:03pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:01pm<b>SamBeast</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:00am<b>toongler</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:48am

breekittenmitten's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of breekittenmitten's badges

breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs

Today, a nice couple came in to buy a car. I offered to drive it out from the line of cars for them, since it was a tight squeeze. They then watched as I managed to back it straight into another car, causing a large amount of damage to both. FML

#21143130
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36135) - you deserved it (20429)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:34pm - work - by cargaljen - United States (Kansas)

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

#21143037
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47341) - you deserved it (5259)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43730) - you deserved it (4380)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

#21142181
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35931) - you deserved it (15343)

On 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Female Struggles (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

#21142112
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48054) - you deserved it (13611)

On 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42683) - you deserved it (9101)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54619) - you deserved it (7663)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37422) - you deserved it (8707)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

#21141320
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48308) - you deserved it (4016)

On 05/15/2014 at 11:15pm - kids - by madbirthdaymomma (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40242) - you deserved it (17032)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML

#21136773
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42682) - you deserved it (3280)

On 05/11/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I love him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

#21136683
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40878) - you deserved it (4903)

On 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm - love - by not gay in AL (man) - United States

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42836) - you deserved it (4605)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42628) - you deserved it (10313)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: