About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
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breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by neveragain / 02/12/2016 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health
Today, a short guy asked me how the world looked "up there", as I'm really tall. I decided to lift him up so he could see for himself. I failed both times I tried, to the great amusement of everyone watching. FML
by SK8WITME / 02/12/2016 at 1:22pm / India / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/12/2016 at 5:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by aiw14 / 02/12/2016 at 1:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by HelpPlease / 02/11/2016 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Love
by Electro / 02/11/2016 at 4:51pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML
by CmS_1733 / 02/11/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by hiitisbrooke / 11/23/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML
by Stuby14 / 11/23/2015 at 9:31am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/23/2015 at 9:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/22/2015 at 10:17pm / Canada / Love
by anon / 11/22/2015 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been two weeks since I got married. It's also two weeks since my husband got cold feet about moving in together, because he thinks the sudden change would be too emotionally distressing for his cat. FML
by unimpressed bride / 11/22/2015 at 1:10am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, we buried my mom. I walked past my sister's husband just in time to hear him mutter: "Hope the fire's nice and hot down there, you old hag." I told my sister. She wouldn't believe me and accused me of trying to start drama. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2015 at 12:45am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous