Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

breekittenmitten

Offline (the 03/14/2015 at 8:26pm) | Search for a member

breekittenmitten

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2900
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About breekittenmitten : 🎀17&Searching, Pansexual, College Girl🎀
If you message me I might not reply but hey, at least you tried😂

breekittenmitten's page activity

Visits<b>24jfred</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:44am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 4:41pm<b>toongler</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:05pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:09pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:57pm<b>jenninator93</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:24am<b>SamBeast</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:00am<b>dk1991</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:18am<b>catracer</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:05am<b>sarahmsw20</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:32pm<b>ApollosMyth</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 2:12am<b>fancypotato</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 7:59pm<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:40pm<b>hyperman622</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:41am<b>tulha</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:57am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 4:16pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 5:50pm

Liked!<b>24jfred</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:03pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:01pm<b>SamBeast</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:00am<b>toongler</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:48am

breekittenmitten's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of breekittenmitten's badges

breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33246) - you deserved it (3832)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (3754)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38875) - you deserved it (3083)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39581) - you deserved it (2039)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49274) - you deserved it (21281)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you deserved it (3571)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35430) - you deserved it (55271)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
193 comments

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML

#21144192
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41501) - you deserved it (5088)

On 05/18/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by motherfuck666 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49807) - you deserved it (3895)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45815) - you deserved it (3764)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: