About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
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breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
by stuck / 06/12/2016 at 1:59am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
Today, a few weeks after moving in with my boyfriend, I borrowed his phone to Google something because mine was dead. His most recent searches? "How kill cat", "Kill cat laws", "Cat + poison". I thought he was ok with my cat when I moved in. FML
by Kitty Lover / 06/11/2016 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I broke up with my fiancé after he cheated on me, and he now refuses to move out of the apartment. I'm even contemplating just offering him my Xbox One as a bribe so I can get him out of my life for good. FML
by Rari / 06/09/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I took a train for 5 hours to a remote northern community. My belt broke as I was getting off the train. I went to the only store and bought a new belt. Taking it off to go to bed, the new belt broke. I have to go visit clients today with a shoestring holding up my pants. FML
by Belt issues / 06/09/2016 at 8:21am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Fido / 06/06/2016 at 7:58am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/06/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2-month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk when they make a noise. My fridge stated beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, 'It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright.' FML
by Babyhazy / 06/05/2016 at 5:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggest that she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill myself because of my severe medical condition". FML
by really / 06/05/2016 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML
by Scammed / 06/05/2016 at 2:26pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Money
by Carnage23 / 06/05/2016 at 8:38am / Germany (Hessen) / Kids
Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up with last week, asked me for advice. He wanted to know if he should start a long distance relationship with a girl he hooked up with last night. FML
by BG1059 / 06/04/2016 at 10:19pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML
by lyinginbed / 06/04/2016 at 3:45pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML
by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/03/2016 at 11:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…