Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3815
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About breekittenmitten : 🎀17&Searching, Pansexual, College Girl🎀
Cats are life 🙀😻
🎶Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year.🎶

breekittenmitten's page activity

Visits<b>Markovski</b> - 2 hours ago<b>FuKcMee</b> - yesterday at 2:04pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:05pm<b>ixyasmine</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:06pm<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:18am<b>moron011</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:18am<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:51am<b>kmac412</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 7:20pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:43pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:21pm<b>BoundBySpace</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:58pm<b>metizic</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Maaska</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:29pm<b>pikon</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:40am<b>mostmontoya</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 2:00am<b>dcam13</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 6:42pm<b>Pranav175</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:42am<b>CatLady4Lyf</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 3:31am

Fucked!<b>Markovski</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:02am<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:32am<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Maaska</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:28am<b>BoundBySpace</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:43pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:30am<b>yeatesj</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:17am<b>kmac412</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:33pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:09pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:12pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:13pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:55pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:43pm<b>amine91</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:40pm<b>24jfred</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:03pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:01pm

breekittenmitten's FML badges


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of breekittenmitten's badges

breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs

Today, while sick with the flu, I had the police called on me by my older neighbors downstairs. They thought I was hosting a party at 3 in the morning. I was really just throwing up constantly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24567) - you deserved it (1491)

On 05/25/2015 at 7:39am - health - by Hooperist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24200) - you deserved it (9604)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24676) - you deserved it (3749)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (5817)

On 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by kalvin (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (2173)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (1864)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24687) - you deserved it (2166)

On 05/24/2015 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I felt pretty. As I deal with a severe anxiety and depression, I was proud of myself. All until a little girl asked: "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15276) - you deserved it (21046)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (2561)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (2094)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: