About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
breekittenmitten's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
by Dangling / 06/20/2016 at 11:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML
by DogBeater / 06/20/2016 at 9:21pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Pissed / 06/20/2016 at 3:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Medfail / 06/20/2016 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Health
Today, I was going to take my father to dinner for Father's Day. It all would have gone according to plan, but he saw my Facebook post about a 12-hour stomach virus I had yesterday, so he went out fishing with his friends instead without telling me because he didn't want to catch my "disease." FML
by crispyjello69 / 06/19/2016 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They finally gave in. After they handed me my diploma, they decided to leave because it was "too boring." I'm currently sitting on the curb of the street waiting for my Uber, while people take pictures of me. FML
by Mexican / 06/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I found a new way to tell if my girlfriend is on her period. If she responds to "Want me to get you anything while I'm at the store?" by screaming "God just fuck off, you cunt!" then bursting into tears, the answer is a definite yes. FML
by sad / 06/17/2016 at 6:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML
by Elgrin / 06/17/2016 at 2:03pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they 'thought I would be lonely'. I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML
by notsoaloneanymore / 06/17/2016 at 12:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by inveralaska / 06/16/2016 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, my bratty sister shoved me overboard during a boat ride. Not ten seconds after being pulled back on board, I got an earful of abuse from my parents. My sister is the family favorite and they refuse to believe that I didn't "provoke" her. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 11:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by stupidassgeek / 06/15/2016 at 9:22am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek
by tracy4191 / 06/13/2016 at 11:27am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation…
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long…