About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey and that's all you need to know about me.
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breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs
Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML
by figcurzyez / 05/23/2016 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML
by gettinganF / 05/23/2016 at 7:57am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, as I was instructing our new third grade students about how our martial arts classes are safer than people think, someone broke their leg right in front of their innocent faces. They saw the bone sticking out. FML
by muaythaiboss / 05/22/2016 at 1:45pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by hrs220 / 05/21/2016 at 5:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Kaibel / 05/21/2016 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my two year old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML
by proud parent / 05/21/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, a woman threw a sandwich at me, told me to go back to "fucktard island" and demanded to see my manager. All because the mayonnaise sandwich she ordered, shockingly enough, had mayonnaise in it. FML
by xoxo_retailslave420_xoxo / 05/21/2016 at 8:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2016 at 12:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, even though my boyfriend knew that I was a devout catholic before he asked me on a date, he's pissed that I keep refusing to have sex. Apparently, he thought I was just playing hard to get and that I would eventually drop my panties like all the other slutty "religious" girls he claims to have fucked. FML
by Bethany / 05/20/2016 at 3:31pm / Germany / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 7:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML
by aireeahna / 05/20/2016 at 2:04am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by bruised / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health