Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

breekittenmitten

Search for a member

breekittenmitten

34Fucked!

breekittenmitten
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 November 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5203
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About breekittenmitten : My name is Bailey, I'm 17. I'm a cosmetologist, and I'm addicted to tattoo's, gaming, and American Horror Story.
All I want in life is cats and to be taller so yeah

breekittenmitten's page activity

Visits<b>christofferkamal</b> - 19 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Jake42100</b> - yesterday at 10:35am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:44am<b>acevango</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:37pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:24pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:36am<b>Lukin</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:03am<b>RA91</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 6:48am<b>murr52727</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:56am<b>loganswann</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:54pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:42pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:21pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:46pm<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:03am<b>A07</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:53pm<b>eleanorrigby90</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 7:26pm<b>emmathindra</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:03pm

Fucked!<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:14pm<b>RA91</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:48pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:21am<b>ShroomSalad</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:28pm<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:26am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:38am<b>Killer_Spoon</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:06pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:16am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Mons</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ausmoss123</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:16am<b>chandler88</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:24am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 9:16am<b>JPjenny</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:02am<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:32am<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Maaska</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:28am

breekittenmitten's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of breekittenmitten's badges

breekittenmitten's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

#21462545
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21213) - you deserved it (1576)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML

#21462507
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15751) - you deserved it (2155)

On 08/30/2015 at 9:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (2298)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

#21462484
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (1177)

On 08/30/2015 at 7:29am - health - by monkeywrench (woman) - Sweden

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

#21462428
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16311) - you deserved it (1281)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:20am - work - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed an empty wall. I asked my grandma if I could put a picture up. She replied, "I don't want your ugly drawings on the wall". I wasn't talking about my drawings. FML

#21462394
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15488) - you deserved it (1216)

On 08/30/2015 at 12:49am - misc - by Failed Artist - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

#21462353
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15880) - you deserved it (989)

On 08/29/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by bornfromhillbillies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16541) - you deserved it (1449)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, marks the third girlfriend in a row that has broken up with me for my terrible dandruff. I can't control it as I was born with psoriasis. All three girls called me pathetic for "making up" a disease to try to get them to stay. FML

#21462179
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18966) - you deserved it (1324)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:20pm - love - by babypenguin00 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

#21462173
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16389) - you deserved it (1565)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

#21462126
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14663) - you deserved it (1269)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:13pm - work - by thegrandchawhee - United States (Washington)

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

#21462123
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14605) - you deserved it (1068)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

#21462073
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (2854)

On 08/29/2015 at 10:06am - misc - by Lord Buttfuck IV (man) - France

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

#21462064
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17688) - you deserved it (1275)

On 08/29/2015 at 9:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

#21462044
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21932) - you deserved it (1475)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: