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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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breegee

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breegee
  • Town/Country : Mississauga, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 522
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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breegee's favorite FMLs

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

#13886809 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (3883)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (16026) - you deserved it (5865)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13857180 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (4299)

On 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (59207) - you deserved it (2894)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

#13847372 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (19563) - you deserved it (2174)

On 11/14/2010 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by vansboy -

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

#13830899 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (3179)

On 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, was my girlfriend's birthday. I planned it to perfection: we went shopping, bowling, had lunch in a nice Italian restaurant, watched a French comedy, walked by the river. She also got many presents. Tonight, I was exhausted but happy for her... until she told me her birthday is tomorrow. FML

#13830674 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (8114) - you deserved it (21777)

On 11/13/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by frenchboyfriend (man) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

#13823528 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (42784) - you deserved it (5966)

On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (23384) - you deserved it (1725)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

#13817966 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (25090) - you deserved it (4675)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (14796) - you deserved it (26256)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiance has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

#13806483 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (18195) - you deserved it (3762)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

#13634114 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (4963)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Taylor parsons - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (9293) - you deserved it (24915)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324 (342)

I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (15287)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)