Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

breathemein

Search for a member

breathemein

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9802
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About breathemein : 18. Boston. Senior

breathemein's page activity

Visits<b>roxy8530</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:00am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:17pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:56pm<b>mamallama22</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:50am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:47pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 9:07am<b>peceout</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:00am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:39am<b>TheStranger153</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:47am<b>pete9913</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:40pm<b>file321</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:01am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 7:01pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:21pm<b>mathen</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:37am<b>ForeverJade</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:10am<b>arianamariew</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:13am<b>nickky223</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:36am

Liked!<b>roxy8530</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:00am

breathemein's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of breathemein's badges

breathemein's favorite FMLs

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97862) - you deserved it (30273)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

#555231
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68234) - you deserved it (7166)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Nathan (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

#555231
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68234) - you deserved it (7166)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Nathan (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

#555231
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68234) - you deserved it (7166)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Nathan (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "look at this face I can make!" and she grossly contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "stop making fun of your sister!" FML

#554363
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68017) - you deserved it (4840)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84339) - you deserved it (31502)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

#553783
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98564) - you deserved it (10332)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

#553334
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70317) - you deserved it (7804)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by unloved (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

#537010
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86357) - you deserved it (18821)

On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174222) - you deserved it (30374)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243368) - you deserved it (32204)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

#506231
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61605) - you deserved it (119665)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by soliveyerlife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

#495475
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56231) - you deserved it (29253)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by cjj325 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

#446324
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100168) - you deserved it (24795)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: