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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11267
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About breathemein : 18. Boston. Senior

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breathemein's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying some luggage downstairs to put in my car to head back to college. My brother told me my shoes were untied. He said he would tie them for me as I was carrying luggage. I fell down the stairs because he thought it would be funny to tie them together. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49590) - you deserved it (10706)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22829) - you deserved it (58964)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I stumbled upon my boyfriend's Facebook. His second Facebook. On which I also stumbled upon his second girlfriend. FML

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42284) - you deserved it (138794)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66476) - you deserved it (3615)

On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML


I agree, your life sucks (70753) - you deserved it (7946)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20627) - you deserved it (116680)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63734) - you deserved it (16773)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:16am - intimacy - by easilyexited (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (139142) - you deserved it (15857)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML


I agree, your life sucks (110211) - you deserved it (23555)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (144385) - you deserved it (13265)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21771) - you deserved it (85834)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

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